Birthday Time!

October is here--the sun is shining, it's warm and breezy, and it's almost my birthday. I'll be 33 on Thursday, October 5, and I'm excited about it.

For today, at least, things are pretty good. :)

Me, as usual, being cryptic....

A new possible course for my future opened up yesterday.
I am amazed. I am in awe. I am exhilirated. I am terrified.

Heh........no surprise here!

Looks like I ought to start picking up some instruments and booking some studio time.

Or, maybe, this is just how I should attempt to write from now on?

Something to consider...........

Which musical genius are you?

You're" Trent Reznor! You've broke new ground with your innovative approach to music production, you put on a kickass live show, and you can play just about any instrument around!

Rockin' Birthday.....

Yesterday was Trent Reznor's 41st birthday.
There's not a musician I admire more anywhere in the universe.
He appeals to my love of authenticity.
Happy 41st, Mr. Reznor.
Hope it was excellent.

I have a plan! I really do!

But it's my plan. I made it up. No one else can take credit for this one, and no one better damn try. It's ambitious and enthusiastic, and maybe just a little bit crazy, and I love it. So, anyway, this is the plan.

1.) Graduate from UofL with bachelor's degrees in BOTH English and Psychology within 2 to 2 1/2 years.

2.) Kick ass on the GRE--so much so that applying to somewhere (unlike UofL) that's actually a challenge for me is considered necessary and inevitable.

3.) Apply to Stanford University in the psychology program--the #1 rated psychology program in the country.

4.) Get into Stanford, move me and my shit to the San Francisco area, and for once in my life, live without a damn safety net.

5.) At some point during the Stanford years, meet Mr. Right, and ask him to marry me. Actually marry him, and work on making the marriage a balanced, loving, respectful and strong environment for both of us. Work on this as if it's the most important thing in the entire world. Because it is, and it should be.

So, there it is. My plan for my next 4-5 years. Take that, doubters!

"The Christy Paradox"

You finally decide you don't want to do something anymore, and, although you're going to finish what you started, you're not going to put the energy and effort that you could into it, and realize that you just really don't f***ing care anymore.

Why is it that at that point you get really damn good at it?????

Could that be the answer to everything? Just stop caring and it'll all fall into place? What a concept.

Today's 600 Seconds......

I haven't been posting over on 600 seconds at all lately, but since I'm sitting home tonight with a touch of what is quite possibly the beginning of the flu, or at least a seriously draining head cold, I thought I'd give it a go tonight. My topic was "What the hell is wrong with New York?," and this is what I came up with, and strangely enough, I actually kind of like it. I think it has "potential" anyway. Let me know what you think if you read this, OK? Thanks.

"What the hell is wrong with New York?" That was the first thing she said to me after 15 years of absense. No "Hello." No "How you doin'" Not even the "I've missed you," that I'd been hoping for.
"What are you talking about? There's nothing wrong with New York."
"But there is," she said. "Don't tell me you don't see this. It wasn't like this when I left." She pointed impatiently toward the George Washington Bridge.
"You've been gone a long time, Grace, maybe you're not remembering things right."
I leaned down to kiss her, but she was already clearly annoyed with me, and pushed me gently away from her. Damn, that didn't take long. I figured I'd indulge her a little and, maybe, sometime this century I might actually get that kiss.
I looked in the direction she pointed, but didn't see anything out of the ordinary except for a pair of worn out tennis shoes that had been knotted together and tossed over a lamppost. Vaguely Stephen-Kingish, I thought, but nothing that should cause her to react the way she was.

Awkward. Weird. Confused. Lonely. Restless.

I find it amusing how people come and go in and out of my life. For example, I've pretty much lost touch with everyone I knew as a friend in E'town when I lived there. In all but a couple of cases, it's not their fault or my fault--it's just one of those things. It sucks, though, because I haven't met anyone in Louisville to spend much time with. It makes for a lonely life because I end up spending most of my time alone, even when I don't want to be alone. Whether I like it or not, I suppose it will always be that way. I haven't been able to figure out what it is that's so damn unlikeable about me, but there must be something there that everyone else can see, but that I've somehow been blinded to.

By the way, for the 2.75 people who've actually read my blog, I finally posted my picture here. It's over there, to the right. I know I look mostly normal, but I assure you, underneath that shiny veneer lives the heart and soul of a goth chick. Seriously. (Oh, the things I'd say and do if I wasn't afraid to shocking everyone I know out of their complacency and their preconceived notions about me......most wouldn't survive it, and I'm beginning not to care if they do or not.)

With any luck, this will pass. QUICKLY.

For whatever reason that may honestly be known only to the universe, today I've developed an almost overwhelming desire to be married, or at least seriously attached to someone.

Don't ask me--I don't know what the hell is wrong with me.